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The Funnies · MAY 10, 2026

Standup With the Bots

Three humans, four agents, one daily question nobody wants to ask.

By Field Desk

Panel 1: A Zoom grid. Seven tiles. Three faces, four logos.
PM:Quick standup. Go.
Panel 1: A Zoom grid. Seven tiles. Three faces, four logos.
Panel 2: Agent 1 tile flashes a green checkmark.
Agent 1:Yesterday I committed 214 PRs.
Panel 2: Agent 1 tile flashes a green checkmark.
Panel 3: Agent 2 tile flashes a green checkmark.
Agent 2:Yesterday I committed 201 PRs.
Panel 3: Agent 2 tile flashes a green checkmark.
Panel 4: Two more checkmarks. The humans haven't spoken.
Agent 3:Yesterday I committed 196 PRs.Agent 4:Yesterday I committed 247 PRs.
Panel 4: Two more checkmarks. The humans haven't spoken.
Panel 5: One human, off-mic, finally asks the question.
Engineer:Is anyone actually reading these?
Panel 5: One human, off-mic, finally asks the question.
Panel 6: All four agent tiles freeze. The humans look at each other. The standup ends two minutes early.
Panel 6: All four agent tiles freeze. The humans look at each other. The standup ends two minutes early.